By now you should have heard that Bryan Singer is on board to direct the next X-Men film First Class, adapted from the comic-book series of the same name, and it has now been reported that writer Jamie Moss is on board to pen the screenplay. It’s hard to predict whether he’ll be a good choice or not because the only release he has ever been responsible for was Street Kings, and whilst managing to make Keanu Reeves look adequate, one film isn’t a good enough marker for me to judge by. If you want me to predict the film’s IMDB score right now, I reckon it will hit a 6.6. If it’s more, I’ll be happy. If it’s less, then I’ll never watch a Keanu Reeves movie again. Win-win, and unrelated, I’m so sneaky.

Lord of the Rings is finally coming out on Blu-Ray. No longer will we have to endure up-scaled visions of Mordor and Rivendell on our huge plasma screens, because come April 6 we will be enjoying them in 1080p; an experience that I can only imagine will be nothing short of biblical. There’s no indication as to what kind of extras will be packed on to the 9 disc boxset yet, but it has been stated that this particular edition will contain the theatrical versions of the trilogy, with the extended cuts to follow on a later release. I guess we can’t have it all, but god dammit, when this comes out I’m getting my piece of the pie.

So, according to Box Office Mojo, Zombieland had a production budget of $23.6m and managed to gross over $80m worldwide, sounds all well and good right? Apparently not. Writer Rhett Reece has been on Twitter this week moaning like a little bitch because his film is being rinsed on torrent sites. “Beyond depressing. This greatly affects the likelihood of a Zombieland 2,” he wrote, making us all feel absolutely…er…terrible. I paid cold hard cash to see Zombieland at the cinema but had I known Mr. Reece was such a whiny toddler, I would have spent my money on rotten eggs and toilet roll and visited him in the dead of night instead. You’re dead to me Rhett! Dead I say!

It’s not really a project that I’ve been desperately wishing for, but it still comes as a pleasant surprise to hear that the Broken Lizard folks have decided to go ahead with a sequel to 2001’s cop comedy, Super Troopers. Speaking to Michael Dance at Movie Cultists yesterday, Jay Chandrasekhar confirmed that the team was three drafts into the script, had secured financing and were planning on trying to strike a deal with Fox. Steve Lemme added:

Brian Cox is even set to be reprising his role as Captain O’Hagan. Come on miaow, don’t tell me this doesn’t please you.

Steven Spielberg’s upcoming remake of Korean revenge flick Oldboy has been cancelled. Or at least, that’s what the internet is telling me. I know it’s sad that we won’t get to see Will Smith slaughter another few hours of screen time, but I think it’s ultimately for the best. Look at it this way, now he can concentrate on getting even more smug for I, Robot 2. I’m kidding, Will Smith is a bad ass, I just wish I could rewind 15 years. Anyway, don’t take this report as gospel, just hope and hope and hope some more; I’ll pray with you brothers and sisters.

So it seems that Peter Jackson and Neill Blomkamp aren’t tripping over themselves to cash-in on the success of District 9 and rush out a sequel. Nikki Finke posted some details up on Deadline saying that it may happen “at some point” but only ‘when the duo “figure out what the story is and organize their respective schedules”.’ The film only just came out for fuck’s sake, forget a sequel, we’ve had enough cake for today. If any more details seep through Hollywood’s pants about this I’m going to be sick, everywhere. And anyway, District 9 should be one of those sci-fi films that stands alone as a triumph, like Blade Runner or…Alien (dammit). Leave Wikus alone!