This new trailer for Jim Sheridan’s Brothers is pretty damn dramatic. What happens when you think your husband is gone? You start to rebuild your life and then, boom! Your husband is back and everything is messed up. Then he goes fucking crazy and everyone starts shouting a lot and shooting shit, that’s what happens. I’m not that hyped about the film to be honest, apart from the fact that Natalie Portman is in it. Which, following the Natalie Portman law, makes a film twice as enjoyable regardless of its content.

Your excitement regarding Prince of Persia is probably directly related to how much video games you play. So basically, if you’re still sitting in your underwear and there’s an empty 2 litre bottle of coke beside you, you either need to wash and go to the fucking store or watch the damn trailer and get all sweaty over Gemma Arteron. She’s the best thing about it. Why wasn’t Quantum of Solace more about her and less focused on the environmentalist freak with the ironic surname? This world makes no sense, I want pizza.